Mostly Chewy and Elphaba, but one lovely one of Fiyero too.






More here.

Finally something that comes together more or less as planned...our Halloween decorations turned out amazingly well! Despite some loser who stole a few items we'd put out a couple of nights before, the display was a success. The trick-or-treaters loved our house and I must say I'm proud of my design work, especially since this was the first time I'd ever put together a project like this. I will also be forever grateful to my sweetie, who, upon seeing me in tears after the items were stolen, braved Party City the day before Halloween and brought back a ton of even more amazing props. She rocks!

We had a 6 ft. animatronic skeleton pirate singing songs, an evil animated talking doll, talking skulls, a tombstone with hands trying to claw their way out, a hanged skeleton in a lei and grass skirt, and much, much more.

Now for the pictures...







Many more here.

This is a quick update, but I wanted to let you all know that things are settling down a bit here. We're down to only one room, the office/garage, that is a total mess, and the house looks beautiful. Dad and Marilyn are arriving tonight for a week-long visit, which I'm partially excited about, and partially dreading. My father has been hassling me like crazy about how much money I've spent on the remodeling, how I need to get the condo sold ASAP, etc. I have been spending a lot, and was very freaked out about it, but as it turns out, I really don't need to be. My financial manager called me on Monday and told me I was up 20% in 2006. That is a LOT of money to make in stocks in a year. I expressed my concern about my finances to him, asked if I was doing OK, and he said yes, and not to be worried. And you know what, I believe him a lot more than I believe my dad, because he operates on facts, and my dad operates on fear.

Dad is also CONVINCED that Gary has been ripping me off, which is completely not true. Gary is one of the most honest people I've ever met. If anything, he is a bit too naive and trusting, and my only concern as far as cost is whether his guys were really working all the hours they claimed to be. We still don't know for sure who the meth pipe belonged to. Two of Gary's guys were drug tested; one came up clean and the other tested positive for heroin and marijuana. Gary fired him, but has offered to pay for rehab and hire him back afterwards. (Does that sound like the kind of person who would over-charge for services and take advantage of two women?) Apparently the guy is shooting heroin, not smoking, and it sounds like he has a serious and worsening problem. He says he is willing to get help, so let's hope he does.

Unfortunately, that leaves the third guy from Gary's crew as the most likely suspect. He only works with Gary part of the time, and also does his own projects. He is incredibly skilled at tile design and did the amazing tile work in our house. Apparently he had a drug problem many years ago, but Gary helped him get cleaned up. It sounds like he's using again though, as he keeps finding excuses as to why he can't go get tested; he's too busy on a job etc. So we all think it's him, and it's unfortunate. And I hope he and the other guy weren't slacking off as well as getting high on the job, but I don't see how we could prove it if they were, or what Gary can or should do since we paid him and he paid them already. I will probably talk to Gary about it, and see if he thinks they were being honest about their hours. I know that if he has serious doubts, he'll do the right thing.

I need to get going, but just wanted to say that all is well, relatively speaking.

Well, it's happened. At long last, we have moved into our house in San Diego! We've been here about a week and a half although it feels like we moved in yesterday. We have about two and a half rooms unpacked and the rest is a mess of boxes. We can't set up the computer network yet because the flooring in the garage-converted-to-office isn't finished. Hence, I am a wireless pirate "borrowing" someone's open connection. ARR! It also means we have no music, since our brand new iPod died and had to be replaced AFTER we packed up the external hard drive with all the mp3s on it.On the positive side, l am actually using, and adoring, the tablet capability of my computer. I am finding that writing on the screen is much easier than typing. The handwriting recognition is fairly accurate and so far I far prefer it to voice recognition. It is quiet and music and background noise don't interfere.

The house is so beautiful. Of course, there are the inevitable snafus we weren't expecting. For example, the concrete walks on either side of our house turn into ponds when it rains, and they don't drain, they just stand. The patio also gets about an inch deep, but it drains quickly. Ah, but to where, you ask? Why, into the crawlspace under our house. Whether this is a major problem or not remains to be seen. What is, however, a problem, is the plumbing.

To make a long story short, we bought a rather expensive and slow-to-arrive Toto brand toilet for the master bathroom. For various complicated reasons, it didn't fit properly with regards to me and accessibility in that bathroom, so we switched it with the toilet in the second bathroom. The problem is that this Toto toilet is a piece of shit. Or rather, it's a piece of won't-accept-shit. Or toilet paper. That fucker clogs when you sneeze at it. And, when it is clogged and you decide to, say, shower, even in the master bathroom (remember it's now in the second bathroom), Bad. Things. Happen. Namely, that one shitty toilet clogs up the whole line, causing the master bathroom shower to not drain, and flood the master bedroom, damaging the beautiful brand new cork floors. Then the plumber has to come, snake the line for 3 hours, and in doing so, splatter the bathroom with shit water which they don't clean because they're assholes, and which has to be SCRUBBED by an exhausted and crying in pain Kristi. At least the bastards had the decency to not charge us after I called to complain. People are a lot nicer in San Diego. Seriously, there's a basic sense of human decency here that is sorely absent in L.A.

Oh, and by the way, the toilet is clogged again as of today. We know better than to shower this time, but I'm really tempted to send Toto the plumbing bill, and if Kristi has to clean that filth up again I'm going to mail some shit water along with it!

Then, there is the matter of the Fucked Up Item (FUI) we found in the house. Our contractor and his guys are still finishing their work, as I mentioned,and before we moved in they had stashed all our boxes we'd brought down already as well as old-but-still-good ceiling fans, light fixtures, parts etc. in a corner of the game room. This corner full of stuff was incredibly dusty and nasty, and so when our lovely cleaning ladies came to help we had them move a bunch of the stuff into the living room so they could clean and we could organize. A couple of days later, we were going through that pile of stuff, and found a strangely shaped glass piece with the inside coated in white stuff on top of a dog bed that had been in there. Neither of us knew what it was at first, but we had our suspicions, and Google proved to be the bearer of bad news: it was a meth pipe.

Now, most of you who know me, know that we're pretty 420-friendly around here. In fact, we're prescribed and legal. However, marijuana is a plant that has medical benefits and makes you want to eat and watch odd movies. Meth is Sudafed and battery acid, and it is some seriously fucked up shit. We do not want people who use it in our life in any capacity, and we absolutely do not want them using it in our home or leaving the pipe for us, our friends, our friends' kids, or our dogs to find! So we had to get to the bottom of this. We quickly eliminated our friends from the suspect list, and narrowed it down to the people who have been here working on the house. Of those, the most likely suspects are our contractor's crew, since they've been at the house the most and put that stuff in that big dusty pile in which the meth pipe was found.

We called Gary early the next morning and told him about our find, knowing he'd be horrified. Gary is a straight arrow, and very Christian (a little TOO Christian, but genuine about it at least). We agreed to confront the guys along with him, and he made them go take drug tests the next day. They both denied using meth or knowing how the pipe ended up at our house, but we suspect one is the culprit. Apparently he was very rude at the testing center, resistant when it came to actually taking the test, claimed that he just peed and couldn't go again, etc. He also asked the guy who went in with him to supervise the pee if there was anything he could put in it to pass the test. Naturally, the supervisor told Gary about this!

I am going to feel horrible if the guys test negative for meth and were just smoking weed, as they will either lose their jobs or have to go to rehab. But the one guy acts so amped up and just seems a bit "off", so I really think he's the one.

We still have the FUI in case it needs to be fingerprinted or anything, but hopefully after the test results come in, we can run it over a few times with the car or something. I want that shit out of my house ASAP.

I can't wait until things settle down and we can actually enjoy this wonderful house and beautiful city we now live in!

I made a New Year's Resolution to journal at least once a week, so I'm trying to start out on the right foot (wheel?) by taking up this bit of controversy in the news: The Ashley Treatment.

Ashley is a 9-year-old girl with severe disabilities. She has the mind of an infant and cannot walk, talk, or feed herself. Her parents made the decision to keep her in a child's body forever by using hormones and surgical procedures. They insist that it was done to protect her quality of life, not for their own convenience as some have alleged. However, I believe that the truth is more complex, and in some ways, more disturbing, than either of those excuses.

The media has been emphasizing the stunting of her physical size, which I consider to be the most justifiable portion of what was done to Ashley. Having gained about 50 pounds over the past two years, I can attest to the fact that weight makes life with a disability more difficult. It is harder for me to care for myself, and harder for me to get back in shape and regain the abilities I have lost. Moving my body is tiring and at times, painful. I am more prone to various health problems since my weight gain, and can see how that would be magnified exponentially in a completely immobile person. It is also more difficult for others to assist me - and as a person with full mental abilities, I feel bad about that.

It does seem that reducing Ashley's adult height/weight offers benefits for her, that it may keep her healthier and more comfortable. As such, simply limiting her size may not be unethical - if doing so has no negative health consequences. However, they seem to be inducing a condition known as primary amenorrhea, which leads to osteoporosis and other serious health problems. Due to her immobility, Ashley would already be at high risk for osteoporosis, so she is in real danger now. In time, her bones may become so fragile that just moving her could lead to fractures. She would then be extremely limited and unable to participate in the activities for which they kept her small, as well as suffering pain whenever a fracture occurred. Still, their reasoning behind this portion of the treatment seems more solid than the rest.

However, based on what I have read, I believe that the primary goal of her parents was not to keep her small, but to keep her physically a child in all respects. You see, Ashley's parents didn't just use estrogen to halt her bone growth, they also had her undergo a hysterectomy and removal of her breast bud tissue, which means she will never develop breasts. They completely desexualized their daughter and transformed her into an eternal child. They have justifications for this that supposedly benefit Ashley, but they fall apart quickly when one examines the non-surgical alternatives.

They believe that having a period would have been uncomfortable and difficult for Ashley, which makes sense, but they could have put her on Depo-Provera or continuous birth control pills. Neither of those are perfect, and carry some risks, but they are an alternative to removing body parts. The breast bud removal was supposedly done because large breasts run in the family, and her breasts would have been generally uncomfortable and "in the way" of her wheelchair chest strap. Also, breast cancer runs in the family. I find these reasons ludicrous - they could have strapped her into the wheelchair some other way, and done breast reduction surgery IF and only if she had discomfort from her breasts. And regarding breast cancer, well, I guess my parents should have done the same to me given the fate of my mother, grandmother, AND great-grandmother. Few people are as high-risk as I am, but I have chosen to keep my breasts, and be monitored carefully. They could easily have made the same choice for Ashley.

Ashley's parents also seem to have an extreme fear that their daughter will be sexually abused, and get pregnant. It is true that an alarming percentage of disabled people, especially mentally disabled and/or institutionalized women, are the victims of abuse, so their fears are not unfounded. However, their "solution" to this problem is an ineffective one. They believe that not having breasts will make her a less appealing target, but they forget that a pedophile would actually be more attracted to her as a result of their choices. They also fail to recognize that rape is about power, not sex. A severely mentally disabled woman is a helpless victim, whom an abuser will be attracted to because he or she can feel power over her. Whether that woman has breasts makes no difference at all.

To remove a woman's sexual organs because she might be sexually assaulted is the worst possible form of "blaming the victim." The solution is not to render severely disabled people sterile and sexless, it is to stop the abuse. Hiring quality, well-paid caregivers, placing cameras in group homes and institutions, accountability on the part of management, and severe sentences for offenders are just a few ideas that would make a difference. No child or woman should be mutilated because of what someone else MIGHT do.

No, keeping Ashley small, liftable, and bedsore-free is not what this is about. Ashley's parents seem to have a distorted perception of her reality - they refer to her as a "pillow angel", as if she were a pet or a doll. They actually say that they are disturbed by the idea of a "child's mind" having an adult body. They want their daughter to remain forever a child, and in doing so, they are denying her reality. Ashley is a 9-year-old child right now, but one day she will be an adult. A severely, profoundly brain-damaged adult, yes, but still an adult. Society doesn't like to see people with disabilities as adults. We're not as cute, or pity-inducing, and there's that pesky idea that we might have rights - even the most severely impaired of us, the ones who can't express what they want and need. In those cases, someone else has to decide what is in their best interest, but that person should be someone who sees them as a whole, adult human being. It should not be the parent who copes with their grief by seeing their daughter as a cute little pillow angel.

Doing these surgeries forever deprived Ashley of any form of sexuality or womanhood. It is true that she could never have consented to sex or pregnancy, but she might have engaged in self-stimulation. She would not have had an understanding of this beyond that it felt good, but it was still taken from her. She will never have the feeling of being in a woman's body, of having soft breasts and curves and an instinct to love and care. These things are primal; they do not require intelligence or awareness to experience on a basic level. Again, this is something many people would rather not think about. I have read many forum postings from parents who are upset about their mentally disabled teen or adult's "inappropriate" sexual behavior. But most of the time, what they are disturbed by is that their son or daughter HAS sexuality, not just that it is being expressed in a public or problematic setting. In this case, the parents seem completely unable to deal with the idea of their daughter being a woman one day. And thanks to the medical establishment, they've now created an illusion to support their delusion.

I know that being the parent of a disabled child can be hell at times. It certainly was for my parents, and I'm highly intelligent and have much more physical ability than Ashley. However, there are resources out there to help. Ashley's parents claim that they cannot find good caregivers for her and that was part of the reason for their decision to keep her small so they can care for her longer. I require an assistant to help me every day, and yes, it is HARD to find and keep a good person. God knows I've had some lazy ones, some jerks and even one who stole and forged my checks. But I've also had some wonderful assistants, including my current weekday person. It can be done, if you screen prospective employees well, treat the person with respect, and pay them a decent wage. Ashley's parents are professionals; while that doesn't make them rich, it should mean that they can supplement state-funded caregiver wages by a few bucks an hour. And even if they HAVE tried every possible caregiver option and service, the solution then is to campaign for more services, NOT has drastic procedures done on your child.

In fact, if anything good comes out of this story getting so much press, I hope it is that the general public learns about the struggles disabled people and our families face. Despite my criticism of Ashley's parents, I do feel compassion for them. They must have felt like they were in a desperate situation to do something like this, although they claim their decision was an "easy" one. The problem is that they decided to change their daughter, when what they really needed to do was demand that the system change, for their daughter and all the other sons and daughters. We need universal health care in this country. We need funding for in-home care so that people with disabilities can live in their homes and with their families instead of in institutions where they are isolated and vulnerable to abuse. We need laws guaranteeing the right of bodily integrity and freedom from unneccessary surgery to ALL people with disabilities, including the profoundly impaired. Then, I hope, parents of children with disabilities will feel free to let their children be who they are, not change them based on fears for their future.

We caught the last half or so of TransGeneration last night on Logo. What an incredible documentary. What I especially loved was that it really took you into the hearts and minds of the young trans people being filmed. I've seen other docus about transgendered people, but this was by far the best. Despite only following 4 individuals, they captured a lot of racial and cultural diversity, and even disability issues as one of the MTFs is hard of hearing. It didn't shy away from the difficult emotions, and by the end I really felt I knew them.

Afterwards I was compelled to Google all of their names to see what they're doing now, and they all seem to be happy and successful, except for TJ who is hanging in there but stuck in Cyprus for the next 2 years. If he were straight/a bio-guy, he could just marry his fiancee and all that residency/immigration shit would go away. Some sexist asshole can go over to Russia and pick up a mail-order bride to abuse and get her a green card, no problem, but a brilliant, educated person like TJ is trapped in transphobia hell for two years because a bunch of bullshit Christians want to tell the rest of us how to live. I really hope he can find a way out of that mess sooner. I actually friended his LJ as he has posted some wonderful political and social commentary.

I'm probably one of not too many people who can say this, perhaps more nowadays - the first LGBT person I ever knew well was transgendered. When I was around 13, I got involved with animal-assisted therapy at the local hospital in my hometown, Bloomington, IN. THE local AAT person was Sean. He had a paying job taking his two cats and dog to the hospital. The cats would ride perched in his backpack - they could have jumped out at any time, but they didn't. He was a role model for me and looking back, I think he is a big part of what inspired me to be a therapist specializing in AAT. It is also because of his tragic death that I have a few precious words from my mother to hold on to, words that mean I am not haunted by wondering if she would have accepted me being a lesbian.

We hadn't seen Sean in a while; I can't remember if that AAT group was no longer happening or what, when we got the news through our veterinarian that he was dead. He had died in his home and it took a few days before he was found. His animals were starving to death, but thankfully, they survived. Our vet adopted his cats herself and found a great home for the dog. At first they thought it might have been suicide, but he never would have put his animals in that situation, and later it was determined that it was natural causes of some sort. My mother told my grandfather's home health caregiver about Sean's death, and it turned out that she knew him. She was the one who told my mom that he "used to be a woman", and my mom in turn told me. I was shocked...as a kid I thought of sex changes as something you read about in the Enquirer or saw on Sally Jesse Raphael. I had no idea that someone I cared about, a kind, normal person, could be transsexual. I was very confused and found it hard to believe. I asked my mother if she'd known before, and she said no, but she had thought that he was gay. She then said that it was sad that he had died alone, and apparently he had even been rejected by a lot of the gay community in town because they were prejudiced against transgendered people. I said that I didn't understand why someone would want to change their sex, and she replied, "I can't imagine how awful it would be to feel that you were born with the wrong body."

Those words changed my life, in so many ways. Her accepting, non-judgmental attitude taught me to honor other people's experiences of themselves, as well as my own experience of myself. I am very comfortable as a woman and would not want to be anything else; I still do not know, and can never know, what it feels like to have a body that does not reflect one's gender identity. But I do know how it feels to have a body that disappoints me, that fails me, that is damaged for life through no fault of my own. I also remember how it felt to be a teenager who for some reason just wasn't interested in boys and had a crush on her female science teacher. I wondered if that meant I was a lesbian, but the only lesbian I knew was the school vice principal, who was very butch and a total bitch whom everyone hated. I wasn't like her, so I couldn't be gay, right? So I never told my mom, although I think she must have had an idea. As an adult, I wanted to tell her, but I was afraid, and I didn't want to add to her stress when she was already battling cancer. When she got better, then it would be time.

I never got the chance to tell her. I spent the first few months with so many regrets - that I hadn't spent that last summer with her, that I'd listened to my dad and not flown there when things went wrong, that I never got the chance to say goodbye. I still regret those things, and probably always will, but what I miss most now is that my mom and I never got to know each other as adults. I want to hear all of her stories again, about her travels to Europe and to Egypt, through my adult ears. I want to talk with her honestly about how she felt when I was diagnosed, during the lawsuit, and during those endless hours of physical therapy. I've asked my dad as an adult, but i only asked her once, when I was 18 and they first revealed it, why the fuck they waited so long to tell me the truth. But most of all, I miss that she never got to meet Kristi, to see how much we love each other, hell even to see that I've still got some of the same issues she used to yell at me about and they DO interfere with my life and relationship just as she said they would. I wish I could see her pick up Elphaba's front paws and do a silly dance with her. I wish I could hear her say that she loves and accepts me for who I am.

Instead, all I have is that memory to hold on to, and the truth about the kind of person my mother was - intelligent, open-minded, and a passionate advocate for equality. Even knowing that, that conversation still holds a special place in my heart. And I have Sean to thank for it. Sean, wherever you are, please know that your suffering, the injustice you faced and your tragic death was not in vain. You helped at least one person come to terms with her sexual orientation, and I (and my multitude of mutts) are going to follow your example and try to help many, many more lost and hurting people through the wonders of animal-assisted therapy. I'm going to order your book now. Maybe it'll have a picture to remember you by, with your kitties riding in your backpack. RIP.

And RIP, Mom. I miss you so much, especially this time of year. Sometimes it hurts when you come to me in my dreams because then I wake up and you're not there. But right now, I just want to see you. I love you.

Posted here, but you have to be registered to read postings:
http://www.superpatriot.net/monticello/showthread.php?p=982724&posted=1#post982724

Hey all, boy can I tell you some stories about LJ. The "cdaae" referenced on that LJ abuse blog has been one of my best friends for over 10 years. To make a VERY long story short, she works for an actor who has been the victim of a stalking/smear campaign by a young woman and her mother. If you really want to read all the gory details you can go here but it's not too relevant to the point I am making. When Christine took action to stop [stalker girl] from making libellous posts all over the internet, [stalker girl] retaliated by seeking to get Christine's LJ suspended for criticizing [stalker girl]. She managed to succeed in this, but as Christine explains here, the post LJ Abuse used as grounds to suspend her journal was FRIENDS-LOCKED. This went directly against their written TOS of only viewing friends-locked entries when there is evidence of violation of US law.

All of which brings me to my point...

It seems that LJ staff is willing to view a law-abiding, average member's private journal entries when a mentally unhinged stalker starts making false claims, but if a member is a blatant, self-admitted pedophile or pedo group, oh no, that would be invading their privacy/right to free speech.

BTW, I have posted a link to the CSO page on LJ and I'm sure Christine will see it on her friends page. And trust me when I say, she has a lot of friends who will be joining this campaign. The hypocrisy on LJ has needed to be exposed for a long time and I can't think of a better organization to stand up to them than PeeJ!

I just looked at my journal for the first time in ages and my style is gone! All the data is still in the customize section but my page looks completely different. WTF happened and how do I fix it?

So WILL LJ squelch free speech when it's against one of their "sponsored communities"? I've decided to find out. I created sciofsleepsucks - feel free to join and say you think Science of Sleep is t3h suKkiN3ss, or discuss how much LJ has sold out with this awful sponsored community idea. Let's see what happens.

I just set up a journal at GreatestJournal - wanted to get a decent account name there before the mass migration that will inevitably occur as LJ becomes more and more of a corporate whore. I'm not going to use it much yet, but if you're over there, friend shadowgallery and I'll friend you back. Ayesha was already taken, dammit.

For those unaware of what's up, check out the meltdown here.

Also click on this image for a community mobilizing to protest:

I've been remiss in updating thanks to a recent and quite hopeless addiction to The Sims 2. There's some nice Phantom stuff available to download for it, including an Erik sim and a model of the Paris Opera done by someone far more talented than I. I also need to check for a V sim, I bet someone's made one! But for now, I'm focusing on creating a deranged tower house, from the roof of which Wonder Woman will repeatedly gaze through a telescope in order to get abducted by aliens, return pregnant, and populate the world with green-skinned alien sims. Ahh, to rule the world. ;)

We've been told the house should be ready in about 5 weeks, but we now have concerns about some tile we bought being too dark for the bathroom, so we've got to sort that out and who knows if that'll result in a delay. Remodeling a house is insanely complicated and exhausting! But it's going to be gorgeous, so it'll all be worth it.

Way to go lady! You kick ass!

Woman in wheelchair on way to gun practice shoots mugger

POSTED: 1:59 p.m. EDT, September 9, 2006

NEW YORK (AP) -- Margaret Johnson might have looked like an easy target.

But when a mugger tried to grab a chain off her neck Friday, the 56-year-old Johnson, while riding in her wheelchair, pulled out her licensed .357 pistol and shot him, police said.

Johnson said she was in Manhattan's Harlem neighborhood on her way to a shooting range when the man, identified by police as 45-year-old Deron Johnson, came up from behind and went for the chain.

"There's not much to it," she said in a brief interview. "Somebody tried to mug me, and I shot him."

Deron Johnson was taken to Harlem Hospital with a single bullet wound in the elbow, police said. He faces a robbery charge, said Lt. John Grimpel, a police spokesman.

Margaret Johnson, who lives in Harlem, has a permit for the weapon and does not face charges, Grimpel said. She also was taken to the hospital with minor injuries and later released.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/09/wheelchair.shooter.ap/index.html

One, I'm shifting two of my e-mail accounts to new hosts, so if you can't reach me by e-mail for the next day or two, that's why.

And two, something that will make realcdaae insanely jealous: The Sims 2 runs on my computer! I decided to try it the other day, and whaddaya know. So now I have a little virtual me and a little virtual Kristi, and we have gay male roommates that go out and earn the money while we party. If only. ;)

It's a quiet morning here, and I've got less to do than usual and am procrastinating about what I do have, so it's time to post a major update.

The biggest piece of news that I have not shared here on my LJ is that we bought a house! It's a beautiful 2200 sf ranch style, built in 1966, in the College neighborhood in San Diego. Yep, that's right, we are finally getting the hell out of LA, well when the renovations are finished that is. The house is gorgeous, with a huge living/dining room, double sided fireplace, wood paneled den/game room, and custom pocket door with a groovy 60's, yet tasteful, mosaic pattern. Did I mention the cherry kitchen cabinets? Oh yes, and most importantly, a YARD for the fuzzies! It's beautifully landscaped too, with five orange trees and a lemon tree. We should open up a smoothie shop or something. Wanna see pics? (pre-remodeling) Go here.

We're making a number of changes, mostly to improve the wheelchair accessibility. We're gutting and redoing the master bath, opening up two doors in the hall to create a more accessible bath/bedroom suite, putting in French doors to the yard from the master bedroom and replacing the carpet with fabulous cork floors. We have a very kind, very honest, but slightly excessively Christian contractor who is doing a great job. At least he actually lives his faith and tries to live as Jesus did, i.e. helping people instead of hating on them. He seems to have no problem working for a couple of lesbians and actually said he can see we have a wonderful relationship. So it's all good.

The work is probably going to take another month, and then we'll be able to move in - and it couldn't come too soon. Our evil upstairs neighbor, whom we call Debbie Does Dallas since she looks like she used to be in porn, has been being even more of a bitch lately. She came downstairs last week and started berating me about the barking, which has NOT been that bad lately. I was very nice at first and said we're sorry, we're doing everything we can and we are moving soon (which she already knew). But she just could not get that through her head, and kept saying we shouldn't be living here if we have so many dogs. I said we agree! and that is why we are moving. I said our new house is being remodeled for wheelchair access and we'll be able to move in two months at the most. But that wasn't good enough for the porn princess. She kept saying we have too many dogs and "can't you find homes for some of them?" I responded by asking if she would tell the neighbors above her to find homes for some of their children because they have too many and they make noise. It was basically an impasse, but we've been freaked out that she'll call Animal Control or something, so since then we've had someone here with the dogs 24/7. It's been great for Paul, because it gives him an income since he's been laid off from his job, but it's costing us a bundle. Plus it feels like we have no freedom anymore; we can't even go out to dinner without arranging for dogsitting, because a silicone-infested slut who's obviously had too many stuck up her ass is threatening our babies.

We also had someone leave a nasty anonymous note on our front door (while Paul was dogsitting, so we know they didn't even knock) saying "MOVE YOUR VAN!!! What do you think this is?" I was so pissed, but I posted a rather restrained response in the building mail room, which I'll put in an LJ-cut for those interested.

( Note to anonymous coward )

Well, at least I can look forward to the last day we're here, when I have a special music mix planned. Do you think several hours of great musical works such as this one, at max volume of course, will convey adequately my level of appreciation for the kindness and hospitality they've shown us over the past 6 years?

Let's see, what other news. Work is OK - I love the people with cancer I work with, their families, and the group facilitators. I am learning a lot and growing more comfortable with death-related topics I thought I'd never be able to cope with. Unfortunately the powers that be there aren't as open to the idea of really incorporating animal-assisted therapy into the program as they gave the impression they were when I interviewed. So that has been a major disappointment for me. However, Arthur has brought a lot of love and joy to many of the people there, and they are benefiting, so I'm appreciating the experience for what it is and when I have my own program, I'll do things differently! Oh also, I've been interning in a writing group there, which I LOVE, and journaling by hand on a number of topics. I'll try to get those posted on here (probably friends-locked) sometime soon.

I need to wrap this up for now, but more, much more, later.

As should be obvious, I've been hacked. I'm hoping support can restore the old version, so I'm leaving it as is for a few hours. We're on our way to San Diego, but I'll try to update later and fix whatever is left to be fixed.

Got tickets for the midnight show next week at the Cinerama Dome. It looks like it's going to be great - mostly because, unlike Andrew Lloyd Webber and Joel Schumacher, the people producing Rent had the sense to cast most of the original people, AND they give a rat's ass about the fans. I can't wait!

The child molester called last night when we weren't home, and left a friendly message, talking about how he met a woman he'd like to date, and other random stuff. I really hope it doesn't take him long to get the idea and stop calling, cause it's creeping me out.

We called yesterday and told him that my cousin is coming into town and can finish the job (which was BS, I don't have any cousins who live near here or do concstruction). I think he thought it was a bit odd but I doubt he guessed we'd found out about JP. We're changing our door code and being extra careful to keep all our doors locked just in case!

I was told by someone on another forum that the statute says that for the charges he was convicted of, the victim was under 14 and the perp was over 10 years older, and there was penetration with a foreign object. I can't see any way in which a 13-year old and a 24-year old (minimum possible age diff and oldest possible child) could be anything other than sick and disgusting. And it could have been a much younger kid.

I decided to go all Perverted Justice on his ass last night and looked him up via Net Detective. It seems that he may be violating his registration requirements because his address on the Megan's law site doesn't match the address that comes up in a people search for him, and the address on the people search is close to the company owner's address. So I'm trying to find out if the ML database could be out of date yet LE still knows where he is, or if he is probably in violation.

Is there a way I can find out the specific details of this crime - such as the circumstances, victim's age and sex, etc.? That will help me decide if I want to take this further.

I am extremely freaked out and don't know what to do. I've mentioned on here how we've been getting our floors re-done. Well, to make a long story short, we've gotten to know (or so we thought) the 2 guys that have been doing the work, let's call them JB and his assistant, JP. JB is friendly, but less talkative, while JP likes to discuss music, philosophy, and his Christian faith, which seems genuine and not of the ultra-fundy variety. He's very intelligent, and we found ourselves growing surprisingly fond of him. He talks about wanting to start a non-traditional ministry to reach out to those who have been rejected, and has mentioned being in trouble with the law. He said that he could have gotten 8 years but he appealed to the judge for leniency and got probation. I had the impression that it was drugs, but tonight, after noticing on a piece of paper how his last name is spelled, I looked him up on the CA sex offenders registry website just in case.

He's on there. For "lewd and lascivious acts with a child under 14" and "sex penetration with foreign object: victim under 14 years". It's his picture, we're 100% sure it's him, and I'm freaked out.

They've almost finished the job, and we're not happy with the way they did the trim/molding and were thinking of hiring somebody else to re-do that part anyway. But there are 2 cracked tiles in the bathroom that need to be fixed, and they haven't grouted it yet, so they're going to be suspicious if we suddenly say we don't need their help anymore. I don't really feel comfortable telling JB that we don't want JP here again, because we're not sure how he'd react, and though I can't find JB on the sex offender registry, he could be a criminal too and I can't find out because his last name is too common for a background check.

These guys know where we live (obviously) and they know about our green medicine, so to speak. They think of us as nice Midwestern girls, and seem to really like us; in fact JP seems to want to be friends with us, which obviously won't be happening now! But now that we know this information, we're very wary of pissing them off. I'm not comfortable having them at the house again, but I'm not sure what to do to make that happen safely. They have their money from us, so that's not an issue, but how can we end things without them knowing why?

I feel so conflicted about the whole thing. I hate child molesters with a passion - I think they are the absolute scum of the earth, bacteria on pond scum. I know the recidivism rate is high, and whenever the topic has come up in one of my classes, the professor has agreed that they rarely change their ways. I don't know the details of JP's crime, but the offenses just as listed are horrific - it's not like it was indecent exposure or something where he could have wandered drunk or drugged out of his mind and wacked off in front of a kid or something. I feel icky that I hired them, that my money went to someone who raped a kid. And what about that poor child, who is traumatized for life while JP got probation? On the other hand...the guy really does not seem like a monster. He's sweet, humble, funny, and very bright. It's not a sociopathic, glib charm at all; in fact he's more awkward than anything. He told us that he was sodomized by his father when he was 7, so he was an abused child himself - and in hindsight, that plus some other things leads us to wonder if perhaps it was a boy he assaulted. His commitment to Christianity seems well thought-out and grounded, not something he is clinging to desperately or a scam to win people's trust. Much as I hate to say it, I wonder if he may deserve a second chance - but knowing what he did, I'm not comfortable being a part of that. Who would be? And therein lies the problem.

What the hell do we do with these people? I want to say lock them up and throw away the key, but as JP illustrates, it's not always so simple. Believe it or not, they are human beings, and a person who is intelligent, kind, and compassionate, who takes homeless people to nice restaurants for dinner and writes amazing poetry, can also rape a child under 14 with a foreign object. Trying to comprehend this is as mind-boggling as pondering the infinite proportions of the universe; I'm not sure I'll ever see the world the same way again, and I look back with longing at my former state of ignorance. It's a lot easier to think in black and white, which is why so many people do it. But I don't have that luxury on this issue anymore.

What would Jesus do? I believe that he would side with the child, as I do, but I also think that he would extend some level of compassion to a man like JP. And that is why, although I do not want to ever see JP again, I hope it can be done in a way that doesn't cause him to feel that no one can ever accept or forgive him. If he feels his life is hopeless, he will almost certainly commit more crimes, and I don't want to be the one who pushes him over the edge.

How should Kristi and I handle this? How can we protect ourselves? We really are just a couple of nice Midwestern girls in so many ways, and this is way beyond anything we've experienced before.

*sigh* Bloomington, IN seems mighty appealing right about now. I wish the Midwest would stop being so homophobic and welcome its gay and lesbian children back home. We really miss you, and our family values are not so different from yours, if only you'd realize that true love is not defined by gender.

"Show Yourself" - Jefferson Starship

When I was small I used to stand
with my hand on my heart
and I would sing to you
you were my son and my lover
my father and my brother
I believed in you
it was so easy then
It was so easy then
but where are you now
it seems like you can't hear me anymore
maybe you're just getting too old
But do you remember
201 years ago
when you were young
how strong you had become
promising every one your sweet gift of freedom,
now you know exactly who I am
I seem to tell you all the time
now tell me some kind of truth about yourself
your life should be as open as mine
there are children dying for you
that doesn't sound like freedom to me
you keep lyin' about why they're dyin'
when they should be concieved in liberty
Show yourself
show yourself to me
you're the one that told me
remember
you told me I was born to be free
open all your doors I want to see
all your doors and your keys
I want to see I want to hear you
all 88 keys yeah
oh give it to me
show yourself
show yourself to me
I want to see the stars and the stripes
that can make those things scream
Show yourself
show yourself to me
expose yourself I wanna see your face
come on give it to me
show yourself
show yourself to me
are you RCA
are you Standard Oil
are you A.T.&T. I wanna see
give it to me if you got one
I wanna see come on and show yourself
who runs this? who runs this country?
show me
show yourself
give it to me
show yourself to me
I want to know I wanna see
give it to me show yourself
show yourself to me
I want you know I wanna see
give it to me show yourself
show yourself to me
who runs it? who runs it around?
show me show me show your face to me